Why can’t we have a Stupidity Recession?

**Pottymouth Warning** Read at your own risk.

Seriously. There’s really quite an abundance of stupidity around, in good economic times and bad. So why is it that stupidity never seems to flag, lag, cease, or at least ease off a bit?

I received a “forwarded email” (read: chainletter spam freakout) from a “friend” (read: paranoid person). This chain email was filled with alarming and badly misused language about how “women in Sacramento” are being targeted for robberies by, get this, two “black women.” The perps are apparently packing knives and causing their own little crime wave throughout the city. The letter exclaims that it’s “TRUE!!!” and even KCRA reported it!!!

I hate shit like this. I really do. It seems like I get a forwarded email like this from a well-intentioned friend every six months or so. These emails are all the same: The message is that women need to be fearful. We need to fear going out in broad daylight as much as at night. We need to fear strangers. We need to fear other races. We need to fear each other.

These “claims” of truth are backed up by a link to a single robbery at the Downtown Plaza. None of the other claims in the letter are backed up by any news source. Not one.

Whoever wrote this letter had way too much zoloft that day and is in dire need of remedial English lessons. I’m also pissed at the people who keep circulating this crapola.

If I learned anything in Women’s Studies 101, it’s that we need to reject these faux warnings about what “women should fear” because they’re ultimately intended to “put us in our places”–which apparently for some is still hovering about in the kitchen, safely cooking up brisket for hubby.

I call bullshit.

Some fine examples:

If you don’t have money in your wallet, they still can disrupt your life by stealing your drivers licenses, social security cards, credit cards, and other important info that most women carry in there purses. And your Gucci or coach, or fendi, or other expensive purses that most women have.

Really? Gucci, Coach, Fendi? MOST women have these? Good lord, please don’t take my FENDI! Here, you can take my firstborn, but leave the designer handbag…

Here’s another screamer:

These women have been spotted at Target on Power Inn Road, Wal Mart on Florin, Elk Grove and Natomas, Dee Dee’s on Mack Road and the one on Stockton Blvd. Various food chains and grocery stores. Places that all women like to shop at.

Places that “all women” like to “shop at”? Yes, I consider shopping at Wal Mart a real treat. I usually take my Fendi handbag, stuffed full of my credit cards and spare cash. It’s hard to balance all that weight on my little bound feet, but somehow I manage.

And a personal favorite:

We are living in desperate times, and all kinds of desperate crimes are happening right under our noises.

Well, at least we’re not being quiet about it, apparently.

In the words of Jon Stewart, f**k you, whoever wrote this crap. The biggest crime here  is your felony abuse of spelling, grammar, and common sense.