Fast Day 2: They say this part is only temporary

A cross between a cry for help and a PSA, the next few items are extracted from a diary and emails to some pals I wrote while attempting to do a “cleansing” fast shortly before I moved from Santa Cruz to Sacramento.

I’m grumpy. Crabby. Snitty. Pissy. They say it’s normal. As my body
“sheds toxins,” I’m apparently going to experience grumpiness and
aches. Wanna make something of it?

So, I actually woke up *not* hungry this morning. I was surprised. It
must have something to do with the fact that I dreamt about shoving
food in my mouth ALL FREAKING NIGHT.

According to the fast instructions, I am supposed to do an “intestinal
wash” each morning to get rid of all the toxic ooze that my body is
releasing. (I promise, I will spare you the TMI portion of the day.)
This “wash” consists of chugging a full quart of water with 1 teaspoon
of salt mixed in. Sound gross? Yeah, it was. I managed to get 3/4 of
the water down before I started gagging. I think I’ll be skipping that
part from now on. I’m pretty sure they meant to say a quart of coffee,
not water, anyway.

I drank the last of the lemonade I made yesterday and went to the
grocery store to buy more maple syrup. Yes, I went through an entire
bottle of maple syrup yesterday. It occurs to me that, at two
tablespoons a pop, these lemonadey drinks are not exactly low-cal. I
read the bottle…turns out, each glass has about 100 or so calories
just from the syrup. My grand total from yesterday morning to noon
today? 1,200 calories, all from maple syrup. I would love to hear a
nutritionist’s thoughts on that one.

I managed to get in and out of the grocery store without killing
anyone, but it was close. The sun finally made a bit of an appearance,
so the pooch and I went for a big walk. It was great–even the homeless
people in the park wished me a Happy Easter. Woo-freaking-hoo. Hey,
still didn’t kill anyone. So, it’s all good. I actually seem to have a
pretty decent energy level, a little trouble thinking clearly, and
very little in the way of actual hunger pangs. I mean, don’t get me
wrong, I *want* some food, dammit, but I’m okay. I’m already
fantasizing about the day I break the fast, though. Probably something
I need to not do just yet.

It also has occurred to me that the people who thought up fasting are
also people who don’t really like to eat anyway. I am pretty sure they
don’t suffer as much as someone like, say, me…who is imagining yummy
lasagnas, juicy steaks, greek salads, crepes and cheesy omelettes. Oh
my god. I have to stop.

All right, I should probably go meditate or something now.

Click here for Day 1. Click here for Day 3.